Stop trying to make the perfect viral video, just jump on someone else’s bandwagon

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“We want this to go viral!”

It’s a sentence that anyone that has spent time in internet marketing has heard 1,000 times. Mostly, it’s from an advertiser that doesn’t realize the cold, hard truth. It’s damn near impossible to purposely create something and make it go viral.

Sure, you can add all the elements that the internet lusts for, such as:
- Cats
- Kids
- Boobs
- Celebrities
- Getting hit in the groin

You can “seed it on Twitter.”
You can “post it on Facebook.”
You can “distribute it on YouTube.”
You can “submit it to Digg and reddit.”

But in the end, it seems the harder you try to make something go viral, the less likely that is to happen. Go ahead, throw MORE money at your viral project. That will even doom it MORE.

Which means the flip side, is that you never know when something is going to capture the imagination of the world wide web. You’re at their mercy.

What’s a smart marketer to do?

Here is a summary of what I talk about in the podcast:

It’s a lot like surfing. Forget about creating a wave, just put yourself in the position so that you’re ready when the perfect wave does come along, and then ride as far as you can until the next one shows up.

Here are the four steps to ride the viral video wave:
Recognize, Hypothesize, Capitalize, Monetize

1) Recognize
In order to ride that wave, you need to be in the right water. Sitting in a pond in Aiken County, South Carolina isn’t going to cut it. You have to head to California or Hawaii to be where the waves are.

In internet speak, some of the places where I find viral content is:
- Reddit
- Digg
- Youtube
- Twitter
- Wired
- Mashable
- Facebook
- Email

Although lets face it, if you wait until someone sends YOU something via email, it’s probably too late.

Next, you’ve got to know it when you see it.
A small list of recent internet meme examples are:
- I’m on a boat
- Epic beard man
- Kanye interrupts Taylor Swift
- Balloon boy
- Rick Roll
- Double Rainbow
- Keanu Reeves sitting on a bench
- Old Spice guy

2) Hypothesize
You can do
1. Parody video
Musicians build audience
Hitler redub

2. Photoshop
Keanu with Forrest Gump

Bonus: Combine 2 memes
Example: Balloon boy with Kanye

3) Capitalize
Check out this amazing rendition of someone that combined “I’m on a boat” meme with the “I’m in a box” balloon boy.

- Another angle is to focus on a single word or sentence from the meme and exploit that as much as possible. For example, “Amber Lamps” / Black betty from the Epic Bear Man meme:

4) Monetize

Doesn’t have to be money; can be branding
- Build your twitter or facebook list

What do you do? How do you normally make money?
- If designer, let people know how to hire you
- If musician, have your band’s website and mailing list
- If writer, it drives people to your blog
- If major website, get traffic

- YouTube – allow people to buy the song
- Create a quick tshirt store

Example 1: JK Wedding video

- 3.5 million views in first 48 hours
- Chris Brown capitalizes… his 2008 song “Forever” reached number 4 on iTunes and number 3 on Amazon.com a year later as a result of the post.
- The couple capitalizes… Today show appearance, 15 minutes of fame, $16,000 fund to end domestic violence

Example 2: Old Spice guy

Mike Relm remix
- Worked until 7AM – all nighter – to get done
- 300,000 views
- Good social media: ask fans what to remix next
- Subscribe to his channel
- You need a DJ or someone to remix something? He’s your man

BYU spoof
- 10 film students and 2 full time employees spent a month on a 54 second remix
- About the BYU library?
- Film project

Example 3: Bed Intruder

Starts off with a scary topic. News report that an intruder came in through a window and broke into a woman’s apartment in the projects and tried to rape her. She managed to fight him off, then her brother came in and defended her.

This was the top story on reddit, and for the first 30 seconds, I couldn’t figure out why. Then Antoine Dodson started to talk. It would be easy to say, oh, this is just a poor African-American from the projects in Alabama, he’s going talk in ebonics and say something stupid we can all laugh at. But it was more than that. He was animated, passionate, and dare I say, funny?

Original video:

The comments on the reddit post were great, and then someone said the immortal words, “Someone should AutoTune this.”

Acting fast, the kings of Auto-Tune, The Gregory Brothers, produced not just one of the best parody videos of all time, but I honestly can say one of the best produced and catchiest songs I’ve heard since Justin Timberlake’s “Blank in a box.”

Go ahead and make fun of me, but I have that song on my iPod (if you replaced the lyrics with anything else, it still be a great song), and jumping right to the monetize portion, I also bought the “Bed Intruder” Auto-Tune song from iTunes for $1.29.

The Gregory Brothers hit a grand slam
- They acted fast, turning around the video in hours
- They produced something that was incredibly high quality
- They persistently, but no obnoxiously, inserted links to the original video, their YouTube page, and links to buy, updating it frequently as things changed
- They monetized through iTunes
- 2.5 million views and accounting

But I shouldn’t be surprised. I interviewed The Gregory Brothers on The Hopkinson Report Episode 80, and they were funny, talented, and super smart.

Here is the video.  Wait until you hear the piano solo at the end.

But then something even greater happened. Everyone ELSE got on the wave.

Aspiring musicians around the world gave their rendition of the song. I collected the best ones for you. I present you:

The Best Antoine Dodson / Bed Intruder / Gregory Brothers Parody Videos

1 acoustic blues

2 backup vocal remix

3 funky acoustic

4 young girl a capella

5 rocker dude acoustic

6 beatbox

7 accordion

8 rocker dude lipsync

What did I do with them? I posted the list on reddit.

You know, in hopes that my link would go viral… (no such luck so far)

—-
Follow me on twitter

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Jim’s guest is Deanna Zandt, author of a social media book. They talk about how she got a book deal, raised money to fund it, and how she got free pizza.

Download the podcast from iTunes, or play it below:

Deanna Zandt is the author of the new book, “Share This! How You Will Change the World with Social Networking” which you can find out more about at her website, DeannaZandt.com.

During our interview, we talk about the following topics:
- How the former corporate employee and self-proclaimed ‘webmonkey’ went from independent consultant to author
- The process she took to turn her training seminars into a book idea
- The “Jedi Mind Trick” philosophy her publisher uses, and how she used “the force” of social media to raise funds in order to work on her book
- How she used crowdsourcing on everything from the title to the cover — and how people reacted to it
- The free software program she used to dramatically ramp up her productivity during the writing process

And yes, she explains how she scored a free eye exam and free pizza along the way.

Give a listen.

Twitter: Deanna | HopkinsonReport

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Jim interviews the guys from Whiteyboard.com, a simple product with a unique marketing spin.

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I love me a good whiteboard.

And why not? I’m a marketer, a creator, a speaker, an idea guy, and a project manager. I like mockups. I like sketches. I like seeing how a process could flow, and then erasing it with a napkin (can never seem to find that damn eraser) and then sketching it out again. That is what whiteboards are born to do.

The issue is that they are big, they are heavy, and they are expensive. Are those three things contributing to the downfall of creativity as we know it? Well, movies like Fear Dot Com, Year 1, Be Kind Rewind, and Who’s Your Caddy keep getting green lit. Maybe if Hollywood had more whiteboards, people would come to their senses.

Enter Jason Wilk and Sherwin Kim. The two entrepreneurs have founded Whiteyboard.com, a company that does one thing really really well: offer a low-cost whiteboard that can be put on (and removed from) any wall much like a piece of wallpaper. How low-cost? The largest 4′x6′ model tops out at just $30, and two smaller sizes are available for under $15.

In an age where I get pitches from lots of companies with complicated APIs, multilevel social network integration, and sparse business plans, it’s refreshing to see a concept that I understand right out of the box. Or poster tube if you will. What that does is then let me focus on the company’s marketing angle.

As background, Jason has gone through the famous Y Combinator program with another business idea. Y Combinator gives seed money at the earliest stage of venture funding to pay for expenses while companies are getting started. The company that I am most familiar with to have gone through the program is reddit.com, a social news site owned by Conde Nast.

The path for a new internet company is starting to fall into a template:
- A few geeks come up with a great idea (usually there is one CEO-type idea person and one behind the scenes programmer guy)
- Throw up a website and iterate your idea as quickly as possible
- Keep costs low and try to get some money wherever you can
- Use free social media and word of mouth to market and spread the news
- Try to get a story on Tech Crunch
- Drive people to the site, get them to register, try to get to a tipping point of users
- Hope to be the next Twitter or Foursquare, or get bought out by a major media company
- Profit!

The interesting thing about Whiteyboard, is that they did all of the above, but with a physical product.

The downside of this, as Sherwin explains, is that they went through a lot of pain on the product side. You’re dealing with prototypes, shipping costs, storage fees, and a lot of back and forth with overseas manufacturing companies, spanning multiple timezones and throwing in a language barrier.

But once they had their product down, the huge advantage is that when their media coverage hit, and thousands of people were sent to their website, what was waiting for the users wasn’t a quick sign-up form, an email or a video tour, but an offer to buy a product.

And since they were featured in such entrepreneurial, tech-focused, startup-savvy sites such as Think Geek, Lifehacker, and Tech Crunch, they were automatically focusing on their target audience.

Lastly, they are even viewing their office space in a non-traditional way. Is Whiteyboard going to be based in a sprawling industrial park in Newark, New Jersey? Um, no.

Their plan is to have an office on Hollywood Boulevard. But not only will it be an office, but rather an open-to-the-public workspace covered entirely in whiteyboards. Doing so allows the company to almost view this as a marketing expense, rather than a “facilities” expense. And for the people that come in off the street, it becomes a branding experience, allowing them to play some tic tac toe, or who knows, sketch out the screenplay for Who’s Your Caddy 2.

Listen to the full podcast interview here:

iTunes

Play it below:

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If your product or service isn’t doing the one thing it needs to, it’s time to get off the bus.

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Quick story…

that leads to a metaphor about your business. Let’s get right to it.

My Dad came down to NYC from Boston for a visit. We did a father-son road trip, spent some quality time together, and all was good. On Monday morning, we embarked to get him on the bus back to Boston.

For those unfamiliar with the Northeast, a plane ticket will run probably $200 RT, and you have to deal with cabs and security. The train is also over $100, and might save you 20 minutes of time. And driving is a headache with traffic. So the Boston-NYC bus route is very competitive – and thus economical – with promotional fares as low as $1 and usually around $15-$20 each way.

There are 3-4 main competitors:
- Fung-Wah bus (I’ve found people that have NOT ever taken the Fung-Wah bus, LOVE to tell others to take the Fung-Wah bus)
- Greyhound/PeterPan (The veterans that are feeling the pinch, leaving from the decrepit Port Authority and trying to upgrade their fleet of old buses quickly)
- BoltBus (An upstart with new buses and Wifi)
- Megabus (A double-decker version of BoltBus)

Let me say that all four companies have their issues, but today my Dad happened to be on Megabus.

So we arrive to the chaos of New York City for boarding, just south of Penn Station, on a crazy Monday morning. The typical distractions (people getting to work, cabs honking, people yelling, tourists, food vendors) litter the area.

First we see the bus, labeled for Philadelphia. We don’t want that. Good start.

We then see the bus labeled Boston. The time is 9:40am, and he has a ticket for the 10:15. There is a line that we wait in for 15 minutes, and then we shuffle forward for boarding. As a veteran rider, the following thought actually went through my head: “Wow, they’re boarding 20 minutes early, so that there is time for everyone to get on board, so they can leave on time.” Of course, that was just wishful thinking.

As we get a few people from the door, the attendant yells out:

“This is for people with 8:45am tickets only! 8:45 only!”

Huh? Why is this bus running more than an hour behind, and what are all these other people doing?

Then he utters the phrase that launches the sidewalk into chaos.

“Everyone for the 10:15 bus, slide against the far wall and get in a line over there.”

Pandemonium.
- People who were in line for the ‘fake’ 10:15 bus now try to get in the new line.
- People who were in the other Boston line, shuffle to be in the right position.
- People waiting for other buses such as Philly and DC are fighting for position like an NBA power forward to figure out where they are going.
- At that moment another bus pulls up. Then more people arrive.
Chaos.

I looked around at the utter failure of what was going on. Yes, the bus company has lots of things to worry about… insurance, hiring good drivers, keeping fares low, traffic regulations, gas prices, and more.

But I guarantee you that on every single trip during every single hour of every single day, every single person dealing with that company has one and only one concern:

“AM I IN THE RIGHT LINE FOR THE RIGHT BUS?”

I know, because I’ve been there. And here’s the worst of it:
1) Not getting this right has HUGE consequences. Going 4 hours south to Philly is a LOT different than going 4 hours north to Boston.
2) It is an incredibly EASY problem to overcome. This is not cleaning up an oil spill.

If you are a business owner trying to make sales and deliver a good product…
If you are a marketer trying to inform people about your product…
If you are a designer creating a website…

Here’s a good place to start:

Am I doing the 1 THING that I need to do in order to succeed?

Here were my thoughts for Megabus to remedy this:
1) Listen to customers
Take a survey, send a “secret traveler” on a trip to get their experience, ask people in line.

2) Training
I would tell my employees that they should err incredibly on the side of OVER-communicating. I would go as far as to say that they should give instructions (“This is the line for the 10:15 bus to Boston”) every 5 minutes from the time the line has 10 people in it until the bus leaves. Put it this way… 5% of the people might get angry that the guy keeps saying the same thing over and over, but 95% of the people will be reassured that they are in the right location.

3) Signage
Again, this is a company that has buses leaving multiple times per hour, every single day. This problem must happen over and over and over again. In every city. How about investing a one-time cost of $100 and printing out a few signs on a stick that have the time and place? Is that so hard?

Now let’s take those lessons and apply them to YOUR business.
- Are you listening to your customers?
- Do your employees know what it feels like to be a customer?
- Are directions in your business or on your website clear?

In the podcast, I go on to talk about companies and products that do a good job (Google, Flip cameras, and… Crocs?) and a poor job (weather forecasts, my Dad’s luggage). Please download/listen to hear more.

Download the podcast from iTunes, or play it below:

Photo below: It doesn’t have to always be bad… here’s a photo I took of the Megabus in Boston at dawn.

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In this episode, I interview entrepreneurs Michael Lewis and Tim Kress-Spatz from Suite Arrival, a new business that lets you be discreet, get a treat to eat, and keep your travel plans neat.

Download the podcast from iTunes, or play it below:

We’ve all been there
Admit it, the TSA and the terrorists have combined to make it much more difficult to travel. Long gone are the days of rolling up to the airport for that 10:15 flight at 9:45.

Oh no… you’ve got to get there early, have all your IDs ready, make sure your bags are not too plentiful (the fees! the fees!) or too heavy, watch out for metal belt buckles, take off those shoes, remove those jackets, and take out your laptops (which can only add to the fact that 10,000 laptops are stolen from airports PER WEEK).

In my blog post about packing for a business trip, (What’s in the bag? How to pack for business travel plus Jim’s 5 MVP travel picks) I give several ways you can ease the travel burden.

But a new site called Suite Arrival (website | Twitter) has an idea so simple and so useful, that even a bumbling shoebomber can see the appeal.

If you hate the following…
- Having to pack mini-toiletries every trip
- Squeezing them into a baggie and running them through security
- Taking your favorite products that only come in 12oz containers and transferring them to smaller ones
- Shopping for your products once you arrive in a new city
- Arriving to your hotel tired and hungry, and getting charged $6 for a Snickers from the mini-bar
- When your wife or girlfriend finds “personal protection” in your travel case right before your trip to Vegas*

Well, then you might want to take a look at Suite Arrival.

* I joke! I joke! All of my readers are upstanding citizens and would never stray… this is just so the maid or your roommate won’t find these items stashed under your sink.

They offer a bunch of products for you to choose from, and have even packaged several ‘kits’, including ones for him, ones for her, an organic kit, an action kit, and a wanderlust kit.

If this is starting to sound like a commercial, it’s not.

Disclosure that I was not compensated in any way, and in fact, they want to give discounts to YOU. Just enter code “WIREDJIM.”

I just like covering cool people with cool ideas that solve real problems.

Once we cover what they do, we get into the conversation and discuss:
- How did Mike and Tim get started?
- How are they marketing their company?
- What are the biggest challenges facing them as entrepreneurs?
- What travel-based trends have they seen emerge from their service?
- How are travel needs different for a woman? (our third guest, Autumn, chimes in)
- What types of things they add on their 2nd and 3rd iteration of the website?
- What are the alternate streams of revenue they are pursuing?

So if you like to travel, but hate the airport experience, have a listen:
Download the podcast from iTunes

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This episode is an interview I did at SXSW with Matthew Inman, the author of the popular web comic called The Oatmeal. Find out how he went from social media favorite to a book deal.

Download the podcast from iTunes, or play it below:

Background
Matt got his start at online marketing and SEO firm SEOMoz. He went from there to coding an online dating site completely by himself in just 66 hours, and then turning around and selling it in only six months. The key discovery while he was there? The comics, quizzes and viral content he used to market the site were even more popular than the site itself. And thus while concentrating on just the viral comics themselves, The Oatmeal was born.

Topics covered:
- “From brain to page” … Who can build a company faster, a small company or a one-mail operation?
- What was the transition like moving from Idaho to Seattle during the dotcom boom and bust
- What is the current state of SEO?
- In the end, Matt feels that all search engine optimization comes down to two major things. Find out what they are.

How to use social media to build traffic to your website.
- To generate links to his bunkbed site, he created a funny 10 question comic-style quiz titled “How long could you survive chained to a Bunk Bed with a Velociraptor?”
- The quiz got popular and people shared it around the internet, were linking to the site and talking about bunkbeds, so the site was able to rank first for that keyword.
- Put it this way… I only made it one minute and 6 seconds.

How does Matt come up with some of his most creative titles?
- 5 very good reasons to punch a dolphin in the mouth
- 10 reasons to avoid talking on the phone
- How to use a semicolon, the most feared punctuation on earth
- How a web design goes straight to hell
- How to suck at Facebook

What is the best way to get on reddit and Digg?
Social news sites reddit.com (owned by the company I work for, Conde Nast) and Digg.com have notoriously fickle audiences. Companies know that getting to the frontpage can mean an avalanche of traffic to their website, but their communities also have the power to bury a story or give it a life of its own. While you might not like the straightforward answer Matt gives, it makes a lot of sense and he goes on to tell a few helpful ways to phrase your post to help things along.

How do you turn a web comic into a book deal?
Matthew is working on a book with publisher Andrews McMeel, who also did Calvin and Hobbes, The Far Side, and Dilbert. He took an odd route when approached by several publishers and an agent, and gives his advice to people doing web comics and wanting to get published. He feels the community ‘rewards’ him for being just an independent guy trying to succeed.

What’s next for the Oatmeal?
- Stand up comedy?
- Animated shorts?
- How are porta-pottys involved?

Check out a 3 minute documentary about Matthew on Carson Daly:

Twitter.com/HopkinsonReport
Twitter.com/Oatmeal
Theoatmeal.com
Book – Coming this Spring

Also see: Hopkinson Report interview with Alexis Ohanian and Steve Huffman, cofounders of reddit.com

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It’s my 99th podcast
I’m having a ball
Sarah and Chris are here
I’m not really sure, but they’re entrepreneurs
99 podcasts of beer on the wall.

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On this episode of The Hopkinson Report, Jim takes some time out of his SXSW adventures to have a chat with Chris McCann of Startup Digest and Sarah Prevette of Sprouter.com.

Hot topics for entrepreneurs:

- Why breakfast foods are the secret to business success and how Jim is going to corner the market with French Toast marketing.

- Chris shares his recent experience at an entrepreneurial conference in Dubai, the surreal “Las Vegas” of the Middle East.

- Sarah talks about Sprouter.com, which aims to bring entrepreneurs together to collaborate, share resources and experiences.

- Chris explains why startups near Carnegie Mellon will tell you about their business ventures, but then they would have to kill you.

- The most important lessons Chris has learned with Startup Digest, an international e-mail list to keep startups in touch.

- Chris discusses the up & coming cities for young entrepreneurs. He explains why NYC might be giving Silicon Valley a run for its money, and why everyone should keep an eye on those crafty Canadians (Sarah included).

- Why partnerships with experts can be a more efficient means of delegating tasks than taking it on alone.

- How and when marketing through e-mail can be effective.

- Seriously. Waffles.

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In this episode of The Hopkinson Report, Jim talks with Brendan McManus of Wildfire. The Wildfire guys have developed a streamlined, cost-efficient, and user-friendly way of integrating promotions into Facebook fan pages.

Download the podcast from iTunes, or play it below:

The numbers are overwhelming…
- Facebook has 400 million users and just keeps growing
- Users are joining at least 4 fan pages every month
- Traffic from Facebook to websites is increasing

So wisely, a lot of marketers and businesses are saying
“We need to get more Facebook fans!”

But they’re not yet answering the next question… Why?

So if you’re a brand, and you have all these fans, now what do you do?

The answer is interaction, engagement, and providing some value back to the users that ‘fan’ your brand.

Companies can build brand loyalty by interacting with their fans in new and original ways, such as contests and sweepstakes. Historically, many companies have turned to online agencies to build interactive microsites. It wouldn’t be uncommon to spend 6 weeks and $50,000 to put a program together.

But a new generation of companies such as Wildfire (2 time winner of the “fbFund,” Facebook’s start-up incubator), allows you to build a simple contest for just a few hundred dollars, in only a few hours time.

In this episode of the podcast, Jim and Brendan cover the following topics:

- Why so many company “higher-ups” tend to misconstrue the potential of a Facebook fan page as merely a tool for talking to their customers

- Ways brands like Edible Arrangements (hint: it involves LOTS of chocolate) and Axe are able to effectively utilize the ‘principle of reciprocity’ through Facebook fan pages

- Why Brandon has vowed never to buy another Proctor & Gamble product again

- Listen as Jim’s marketing coordinator, Susi, slowly succumbs to the “Axe effect”

- Why video contests may not be worth the effort and the efficacy of a Facebook photo contest

- How the designers of the Wildfire App were able to successfully capitalize on emerging trends in social media networking

If you’re on Facebook – and let’s face it, who isn’t – you’ll gain valuable insight into this process.

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What’s it like to be a professional photographer rubbing shoulders with celebrities like Kim Kardashian, Billy Corgan, and Ludacris? Pro photographer Diana Levine will tell you.

Click here if you’d like to read the full transcript of this interview.

Download the podcast from iTunes, or play it below:

Ever since I worked in the photo section of the Caldor department store in high school, I’ve been interested in photography. I’ve owned many many cameras, from old school 110, Disc, and 35mm SLRs like my Minolta X-370, to some of the first digital cameras on the market in the late 90s, up through my newest point-and-shoot and desire to upgrade to a DSLR.

So when I had the chance to sit down and speak with pro photographer Diana Levine, I jumped at the chance. I had so many questions on so many topics. I wanted to know what it was like to freelance. What was her favorite equipment. What was it like to work with celebs. And with 2 billion photos a month being uploaded to Facebook, and more and more pictures needed various profiles on the web, how was social media affecting her business.

[Above: Diana shooting Alicia Keys]

We talked for so long I’ve made this a 2 part episode, and then we hit the streets of New York and set up an impromptu studio to see her in action.

In Part 1 we cover the following topics:

Background

- How did Diana get her start?
- Who was her main influence as a child?
- Which Conde Nast magazine did she intern at?
- What was the main thing she learned at Boston Magazine?

Freelance life
- How did she get over her fear of making the leap to freelance?
- What would she tell people wanting to strike out on their own?
- Is it a good or bad thing that cameras are so good and so inexpensive now that everyone thinks they can be a good photographer?
- What are the things that distinguish a true pro from an amateur?

Celebrities

-  What’s it like working with celebrities:
* Kim Kardashian
* New Kids on the Block
* Billy Corgan
* 50 Cent
* Ludacris
* Alicia Keys
* Vampire Weekend
* DJ AM
* Iman
* Fabolous
* JoJo
* Los Del Rio
* Harry Connick, Jr
(and more)

Other Celeb Questions:

- Tell us about your first celebrity shoot with KRS-One
- What’s the real scoop with Kim Kardashian
- Which singer made Diana have to pinch herself to make sure it was real?
- Which band’s fans sent her hundreds of tweets after she photographed them?
- A revelation about Billy Corgan that really shocked me.
- Which celebrity would be the one she’d like to photograph most (but can’t)
- How do you create a comfortable atmosphere when working with celebrities
- Which celebrity is she named after (Answer at right)

Celebrity projects
- MTV’s Super Sweet 16: What was Sean Combs’ house like?

- AOL’s Day in the Life project, what was it like spending an entire day with Ludacris or New Kids on the Block?

Part II will contain:
- Equipment she uses
- The affect of social media on the photo industry
- Tips and tricks for taking great photos

Check out Diana Levine’s work: Website | Blog | Twitter

Click here if you’d like to read the full transcript of this interview.

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Best Earbud Headphones For The iPhone Review

Does a great pair of earbud headphones for the iPhone exist? I sure haven’t found one, but lets find out.

Download the podcast from iTunes, or play it below:

“Whoa it just got so freaking loud, are you in a wind tunnel?”
“I’m sorry, I just caught about every third word that you just said.”
“What? Can you repeat that last part? Your father is kissing a lizard?”
“Hello?  Hello? I think I lost you.”
“Oh my gosh your phone is the worst thing ever I hate your damn phone it is HORRIBLE and I hate you and your damn phone please don’t ever call me again with that stupid phone.”

I don’t know about you, but those are just 5 of the types of things people say to me as the owner of an iPhone.  By the way, the reference of “Your father is kissing a lizard” came from the sitcom Good Times, when they were on the phone and mishearing things, and then they figured out – and were devastated – when they realized the other person was saying “You father is stuck in a blizzard.”  That’s right, I just made a Jimmy Walker joke. Dynomite.

The podcast and blog this week is being done to accomplish three things, as we set out to find best earbud headphones for the iPhone.

1) On the personal side, after 2 years the right earbud on my iPhone 3G headset stopped working, so I need to replace them, hopefully with a model that cuts down the complaints above.

2) On the tech side, I wanted to do a comparison of the best earbud headphones on the market to see how they shaped up.

3) On the marketing side, I wanted to do a blog post that optimized the content, and try to appear on the first page of Google for the term “best earbud headphones for the iPhone.” You may have noticed that I’ve stated that phrase 4 times so far.

As I mentioned, people have a really hard time with me talking on my iPhone. After the last few days of intensive testing, I’ve realized a few things.

First, I live in Manhattan, a place where an enormous amount of your time is spent walking. Because most everyone here is an outgoing Type-A personality, you wouldn’t be caught dead just doing ONE thing like walking down the street. Oh no, you have to be talking on the phone or texting or chatting or jotting down notes for your next screenplay. Everyone is constantly on their phones.

The problem is that you’re not sitting in a convenient “car cocoon” with your windows rolled up and the A/C slightly blowing at your feet during your commute. You’re in a massive city with beeping horns and giant buses and squealing cabs and constant construction in the background.

Because you’re jostling around so much, it’s actually convenient to be wearing headphones with your iPhone, so that you can actually hear when some is calling in case you don’t pick up on the vibrate mode.

Additionally, a great majority of people are on the subway. Once again, you’d rather be caught dead than simply sitting and reading a book or waiting for your next stop. It’s almost a requirement that you wear earbuds.

During my testing, I realized I had to isolate the fact that I had two separate problems.

1) Headset quality
The first is the sound quality of my headset. Whether it’s walking in the wind or talking while opening a bag of chips, the sensitivity of the microphone is a major factor that annoyed people.

2) AT&T Service
Second, is the quality of AT&T’s service. In addition to the 30% of dropped calls that AT&T says is within normal range for New York City, a new development in the past few weeks is that the quality of my calls is warbling my voice as I walk around the apartment. This is not a factor of the headset, but some crazy cell phone tower issue or something along those lines.

Let me be clear for a moment. I live in a 400 square foot studio apartment!!!  We’re not talking the call quality decreasing when I move from the walk-in closet in my master bedroom suite to my downstairs kitchen with granite counter-tops to the basement home theater with concrete walls!  I am moving within a 10 foot radius!!!

Wow.

I also want to say that I’m going to approach the testing in my own unique way. I’m not going to talk about the decibel crossover levels in the midrange tones or however the audiophiles measure it. In fact, because I’m a podcaster and mostly listen to speaking voices on my iPhone, I’m not going to go crazy worrying about the bass levels.

I’m going to talk about the little things that I feel customers really care about, like the quality of the connection, the feel of the cord, the placement of the microphone, and whether or not it makes you look like you’re wearing jewelry.

I’m even going to talk about the packaging.

One of the interesting things I found, is that there was definitely no clear winner when reading reviews online. It seemed that nearly everyone had some kind of beef with whatever headset they had chosen. I was going nuts racking my brain trying to decide which one to buy, so in the end, I did the only thing a tech freak like me would do. I called up Amazon to check on their return policy (and I sure hope my Indian to English translation skills are accurate), and bought 6 different pairs of earbuds.

Before we get to the reviews, a note on the marketing side. I think it’s pretty cool that when you search for “best revenue model for the iPhone,” my blog post comes up first. This is a pretty good accomplishment considering the popularity of the term iPhone.

So my goal with this post is to see if I can get a How-to review style post in the first 10 spots, and ideally in the top 3. I’m going to do this by

1) keeping things relevant and on topic

2) mentioning those specific keyword a few times

3) embedding photos, videos, and audio with product names and keywords

4) linking to the products on a major site like Amazon or the product homepage.

Nothing crazy. No custom HTML or paid search buy. Just a simple, organic blog post to see what happens.

So without further ado, here is:

Best Earbud Headphones for the iPhone Review

The Incumbent: Apple Earphones with Remote and Mic

Earbud style/fit: Hard plastic bud style, not noise-canceling, solid

Cord: Decent weight and feel

Mic and control: Integrated as one, solid and convenient

Connection: Rubber enforced and straight; broke down, but only after 2 years of harsh use

Sound quality: Decent for music and voice

Dealbreaker: Trying to improve mic sound

Retail/Price paid: $29.99 / $0 (Came with iPhone)

Jim says: Of course, I could have avoided all this testing by simply tossing my broken earbuds, heading over to the Apple store, and picking up a new pair for $29. In all, there is nothing wrong with these. They lasted me 2 years of harsh abuse, the sound was fine, and they fit me ok. However, people complained about the mic being too sensitive, so I was on a mission to find something better.

Apple Earphones Audio Test:

JBuds J3M Micro Atomic In-Ear Earphones with Microphone

Earbud style/fit: Small, round silicone ear buds for a noise-isolating fit

Cord: Looks like some kind of fiber optic cord, as the wire is encased in clear plastic; feels solid and resistant to tangles

Mic and control: Aluminum with solid feel and a single button

Connection: Straight and feels like it will be a little bit flimsy

Sound quality: Solid for music and good voice

Dealbreaker: Worries about connection

Retail/Price paid: $89.95 / $39.95

Jim says: At $39.95, the JBuds came in as one of the lower priced challengers. I’m not sure what the packaging looks like at retail, but when they arrived from Amazon, they were simply sealed up in a tiny ziplock bag. For the price, it was a solid all-around contender. For those on a budget, this might be your pick.

JBuds J3M Audio Test:

Sennheiser MM50 iP Earbud Headset

Earbud style/fit: Small, round silicone ear buds for an isolating-style fit. But they almost felt like they were going to disappear into my ear canal.

Cord: Felt really flimsy and tangle-prone.

Mic and control: Made of a large, kidney-shaped piece of plastic. This was the only model where the mic was on the left side of the headset. Your thumb naturally goes to the inside of the kidney to fast forward or pause, yet the button is on the opposite side.

Connection: Straight and feels like it will be a little bit flimsy

Sound quality: Actually very solid for music with good bass and decent voice

Dealbreaker: Mismatched cord

Retail/Price paid: $129.95 / $33.48

Jim says: Before I even got into testing, I had an immediate dealbreaker. The headset is set up so that the right earbud cord is about 19″ long, while the left one is 5″ long. This might not be a problem for everyone, but based on where the mic was placed, it just felt wrong. There was a constant feeling that one side was heavier than the other. I also didn’t like the overall quality feel of the product.

Sennheiser MM50 Audio Test:

V-Moda Vibe II Earbud Headset with Microphone

Earbud style/fit: Small, round silicone fittings provide a comfortable fit and sound isolation. They are made of ’sculpted stainless steel alloy’ and have a solid heft and quality feel to them

Cord: The cord is wrapped in fabric, giving it a great feel and making it less prone to tangles

Mic and control: Unique in that the solid-feeling steel microphone is up high near your mouth, but the button to control answering calls or fast forwarding is lower, placed at the V in the cord. To me this isn’t a positive, as you have to reach down lower, sometimes within your coat, to find the fast forward button. The piece looks like some kind of multisided crystal, and you need to make sure you pick the correct side and dig your thumb in to the rubber button in order to press it.

Connection: Solid feeling “Y” shape plug puts less pressure on the connection

Sound quality: Solid for music and good voice

Dealbreaker: Separate controls

Retail/Price paid: $128.00 / $119.95

Jim says: These were pretty solid all-around, with some good heft to them. I really liked the cord, and the connection felt encouraging. While I might just need some time to get used to the controls, it felt unnecessarily clumsy.

V-Moda Vibe II Audio Test:

V-MODA Vibe Duo Earbuds/Headset (iPhone Compatible)

Earbud style/fit: Silicon fittings provide a sealed fit. Similar to the other V-Modas, they were metal and solid. However, the bright silver ring around them made them feel very ‘blingy’

Cord: The cord is wrapped in fabric, giving it a great feel and making it less prone to tangles

Mic and control: The mic and control were housed in a single metal unit, which felt solid. However, the button was a little small to find and operate, and did not work for me.

Connection: Solid feeling “Y” shape plug puts less pressure on the connection, the best of the bunch

Sound quality: Solid for music, great bass and voice

Dealbreaker: I felt like I was wearing earrings, fast forward didn’t work

Retail/Price paid: $79.95 / $48.64

Jim says: On the plus side, I liked the construction, the cord, the plug, and the sound. But I also had several problems. As far as feel, the mic button is small and was a little tricky to operate. Next, I’m not sure if I got a defective unit, but the button didn’t work. Clicking it did not pause or fast forward to the next song.  And it could have been me, but of the 7 audio tests I did, this one didn’t come out (sorry, time constraints prevented me from re-recording) Lastly, they were too blinged out for me.

V-Moda Vibe II Audio Test:
[Not available]

Klipsch Image S4i Premium Noise-Isolating Headset with 3-Button Apple Control

Earbud style/fit: These were unique for 2 reasons. First, the drivers on the earbud were angled in, and second, the earbud gels were oval. Both of these factors led to a really comfortable fit

Cord: The cord was a basic cheaper plastic the felt like it would tangle

Mic and control: The mic and control were housed in a single metal unit, which felt very solid. They featured the new 3 button control for newer ipod models. Even though I still had a 3G, I thought it would be great to have if I move up to a newer model. The main issue is that the mic was located at the V, far below your mouth. They of course tout this as a positive, but my personal preference is to have it floating near my mouth, not bouncing around near my chest where I could have the zipper of a jacket, a tie, or the strap of my work bag.

Connection: Straight, flimsy feeling.

Sound quality: Solid for music, a little less bass than the vibe duo and average voice – loud during the pretzel test, probably due to mic placement

Dealbreaker: Placement of mic and cheap feeling wires

Retail/Price paid: $99.99 / $99.99

Jim says: I really wanted to like these, and enjoyed the way the earbuds sat in my ear. But below that, the wires just felt less sold, the connection worried me, and the mic placement sealed the deal.

Klipsch Image S4i Audio Test:

Etymotic Research HF2 Earphones / Headset (iPhone Compatible)

Earbud style/fit: At first I really, really liked the way these sat in my ears. They were light and comfortable due to the combination of the oval shape and stacked ear pads. However, I then realized how deep they are supposed to sit. (see sound quality)

Cord: The cord was plastic but solid enough. Not the quality of the V-Modas, but better than the cheaper models.

Mic and control: This was a single plastic mic unit with a button control. Pretty easy to find and use.

Connection: The connection had a strong plastic feel that curved at almost a 90 degree angle, making it easy to add/remove it.

Sound quality: As all the reviewers noted online, there is a noticeable absence of bass when compared to all others. While my sister said I sounded a little like a robot, and my parents thought it was a little tinny, they did say it felt a clearer. Decent audio in my test.

Then as I was looking at the packaging again, I noticed there was a warning saying Important: a deep seal in the ear canal is essential, or there will be a loss of bass. Then they direct you to  a video. The video is informative, if not amusing. They show a woman demonstrating how to properly put in the earbuds, which includes stretching your face with your opposite arm, and opening your mouth. I’m serious.

However, I have to admit when I did so, I definitely felt a much deeper seal, and the bass improved dramatically. But now I had a new issue, the seal was TOO good. I felt that someone had poured wax into my ears and sealed them shut. While this was great for sound quality, there was a constant pressure there, and I was concerned about walking in Manhattan streets and having 80% of outside noises blocked. I guess you can’t have it both ways.

Dealbreaker: The seal mentioned above, and price. Many people online paid the full $180 plus tax, which starts to put the total at the same level of the iPhone itself. I’ve seen them as low as $129.

Retail/Price paid: $179.99 / $139.83

Jim says: I really didn’t want to like these because of the price, but ordered them anyway because of the numerous awards that were awarded to the HF2.

But when I figured that I use my iPhone every single day, for multiple hours per day, they extra $100 or so would be a good investment over the next year or more. There was a sense of quality in the little things from both the headset and the packaging. I liked that I could pull these out * a little * so that I wasn’t yelling while on the phone, but push them back in for music or audio.

Etymotic Research HF2 Audio Test:

Overall thoughts:

I’m sure I put WAY more thought into this than the average Joe, that just strides into a store and grabs what the guy behind the counter recommends. (Hey, that’s why I’m here). Note that every model provided multiple earbud gels to custom to your particular ear canal setup. Also, it’s tricky to get used to talking when your ears are completely sealed shut.

Several also come with cases to carry the headphones in, but I’m not sure how many people will take the time to wrap up the headphones and carry them in a separate case all the time. Maybe women in a purse?

I also want to tell people to remember that the noise isolation can cause you to zone out and miss sounds when you are crossing the street, trying to listen to announcements on the subway, or just interacting with people in general.

Sadly, what I found out is that clarity in ALL of these products, especially on city streets, is an issue. With so many moving parts, from fit to electronics to finish quality, no wonder there is no clear winner. However, I’m probably going to go with the V-MODA Vibe II, which offered the best all-around performance for me.

I hope the testing was helpful to you in making your decision.

And from the marketing side, hopefully I’ll start to trend on Google for the search term best earbud headphones for iPhone.

Cheers

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